Mom had surgery Monday and I drove her home from the hospital on Thursday. This week’s experience has made several things clear already. First, I love my mom. I think about who I would be without her or what I would do without her around and the answers in order are “crazy” and “panic.” I need my mom.
I also see that we both have contradictory systems for how to manage a household. I’ll freely admit her systems are probably more logical and maybe even more efficient. My system is more concerned with timing. I let things pile up with the idea that doing a lot all at once is less annoying than leaping to my feet every 5 minutes to take care of something else I see that needs doing. I’m not sure either of us is wrong– just different.
I also am learning that the more you try to stifle a cough, the louder the hacking and coughing noise is… especially to a sleeping mother who even in sleep, is compelled to ask “Are you okay?” And though harder to stifle than a cough, I have yet to answer back, “I only need one lung. The other I just hacked up is expendable.”
There are certainly parallels between me bringing my mother home from the hospital and trying to find our routine and while tending to my own obligations and her bringing baby me home from the same hospital 32 years ago. There are different types of challenges to both situations.
This is harder than I thought and yet more meaningful than I expected. If I could shake this cold and cough… If I could just translate my love for my mother into not only doing the things she needs done, but doing them sans crankiness…
Anyway, mixed emotions lead to a muddle blog. I hope I sort out these feelings into essays or posts that elaborate on what Christmas is like this year. I need perspective and I’m not there yet.
Merry Christmas to you, though. I pray you find strength to rejoice in the story of an all powerful King beginning earthly dwelling in the person of a baby.